New Player Profile: Somber

ABOUT SAMER: Here’s another example of somebody who does not play every day, but that you need to know about. He’s a member of the Lunchsketball Reserve, which is the long, rotating list of players who are on-call to make occasional appearances in the game.

Samer can make his shot with some consistency, and that alone would be enough to number him among the elite at Lunchsketball. While on the court, he is gifted with a general awareness of where his teammates are and what they are up to. This means that extra care needs to be taken when picking the teams with Samer, because if he is put on a team with another player with that same awareness, they may conspire and be able to use strategy, which can become an unfair advantage.

When he is on the court, he is often called “Somber”. Gary has tried to make the nick-name “Sasha Vujacic” catch on too, siting a resemblance to the former Laker. This will not stick, partly because not enough people know what Sasha Vujacic looks like, and also because nobody outside of Serbia can look at the combination of letters which is “Vujacic” and honestly say that they know how to pronounce it, or are even interested in learning.

He is, therefore, known best as Somber. This was started by a revered Lunchsketballer named Mark. Mark was convinced that Samer’s name was pronounced  “Somber”.  A great thing about Mark was how he’d often shout loud encouragement to fellow players. “There you go, SOMBER!,” Mark would shout. “You keep shooting that, SOMBER!”

PLAYER STATS
NAME: Samer, aka “Somber”.
DEMEANOR: Not somber; upbeat, actually.
STRENGTHS:  Field Goal %, Blocks, Steals, Assist/Turnover Ratio, Tattoo/Arm Ratio.
NEVER TRIED: White people food, including pecan pie, anything described as a “casserole”, and most cobblers.

Nobody ever corrected Mark. This came to be by unspoken agreement among the players, because everyone enjoyed hearing Mark yell “Somber”. Then one day, completely out of the blue, Mark asked how the name was pronounced; one of these, “Have I been saying that right?” moments, after literally years of saying it wrong. Shortly thereafter, Mark was forced into retirement, but his legacy endures every time Somber is congratulated for making a shot.

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