- Games are to begin at 12:00 pm, unless otherwise specified.
- “12:00 pm” is understood to mean “12:25 pm”.
- Players are encouraged to bring their “gear” every day.
- Players who forget their “gear” are pressured to borrow unclaimed, previously enjoyed “gear” that collects over time in the bathroom and the warehouse.
- Out of Bounds: The grass is out of bounds on the sidelines. The painted line is out of bounds on the baselines. The backboard is shrouded in mystery; if the ball strikes the top, underside, or any of the leading edges of the backboard, there will be controversy.
- Back-Court: The back-court rules for Lunchsketball are based loosely on the NCAA rules. As with most outdoor pickup games, the back-court rules are generally relaxed and not strictly enforced, unless Samer’s cousin-in-law Nathan went back-court, in which case it is always a violation, and a turnover is charged to Nathan.
- Games are played until a team wins by reaching an agreed-upon number of points scored.
- Points-to-win are determined after the game has been in progress for no less than 20 minutes.
- Score is to be announced audibly at player discretion, but players will be mocked if they announce the score so loudly or often as to be considered distasteful.
- When yelling out the score, players must use only numbers within the range of 1-9. This is really confusing; however, shouting “23-18” is cumbersome, while by comparison “3-8” may bear a certain panache.
- Shots taken outside the 2-point line are worth 2 points; all other baskets are worth 1 point, unless Phil’s team is down by 10 or more points and the opposing team agrees that Phil can take shots from half-court which will be worth 5 points.
RABBITS & THEIR DOODIES
- Playing area is designated rabbit defecation zone.
- Rabbits in El Cajon/Santee area are to gather and defecate all over the playing area.
- Rabbit droppings may be removed from playing area prior to games. THIS IS NOT A REQUIREMENT. Rabbit droppings aren’t squishy. You can walk and dribble on them, and you’ll be fine.
- Full disclosure, some rabbit droppings are squishy, but rabbits have found the squishy ones to be unfailingly delicious, and do not leave them on the playing area. Read all about it.
- Should it be considered necessary to remove rabbit droppings from the court, it becomes the responsibility of Jim or Kerry to bring the broom for this purpose. Triple may volunteer to do the actual sweeping, otherwise this falls to Jim or Kerry.
- In the event that a mutilated rabbit carcass is left in the middle of the court, said carcass is to be removed immediately. Gary’s good basketball is quarantined for one week, or until such time as the playing area is determined to be free of bunny-germs.