Sweltering Heat – Cold Lies

EL CAJON — “This was the worst decision of my life,” said D.

Reality set in the instant Darin stepped outside of the building and experienced the energy-sapping, will-crushing heat.  The entire outdoor world hissed a foreboding message to every breathing creature: “You are not welcome here. Go back inside!”

It was only 11:00 am.  The game hadn’t even started. The sun was still on its way up. Who had come up with the idea to play basketball today, and why had anyone gone along with it?

Flash back to earlier that morning. A seemingly innocent email, festooned with a cheery emoticon, sat harmlessly in the inboxes of a select group of Lunchsketball players:

“I know it’s supposed to be hot, but maybe the weather man is wrong  : )

 Let me know if you want to play – we can decide at game time


In hindsight, the signals of nefarious deception should have been clear; the San Diego weather man is never wrong.  Everyone in El Cajon had known for days that there would be record high temperatures on Friday. Only a fool would bother to question the forecast.

Kerry managed to find six such fools.

Six gullible players, with regret for their carelessness mixed with contempt for their deceiver, slogged through the bitter fate of playing a game of full-court basketball that Friday morning on the hot pavement with Kerry. Afterward, Gary reported that temperatures had reached 103°F during the game.

[W]e can decide at game time,” was the reassuring message in Kerry’s email. Had there been a vote? Had the players really been asked, at game time, if they would like to play? Where was this meeting held? There had been no such vote and no such meeting; only an empty promise.

Lunchsketball isn’t something that just “happens”. There must be a recruiter, and that can be a thankless job. To be a Lunchsketball recruiter is then an honorable endeavor, to be sought by the righteous man. Like all things, however, this too must be pursued in moderation. Kerry’s quest to put together Lunchsketball games has consumed him. With a blind eye to consequence, he will lure unsuspecting players into regrettable decisions with his siren song of basketball.

On the Saturday after the game, the following status was to be found posted on a facebook account attributed to Kerry: “Friday people said to us ‘You’re not stupid enough to play basketball in that heat’. — Ha! We proved them wrong….”

Could Kerry be proud of what he did? What twisted mind would boast of such a thing? You might read his facebook statement and find instead a hint of regret, or the admission of a mistake. That’s ok. You can give Kerry the benefit of the doubt; but so did those six unfortunate Lunchsketball players on that scorching Friday morning.

Guest Feature!

This week, Guest Blogger Kerry discusses the “Dream Team”, formed by Jorge, Trip and Kerry ???


Guest Blogger Kerry

Although their purported exploits are many, and the stories have grown and been embellished as they have been told and retold over time, sightings of the “Dream Team” are few and far between.

As legend has it they first got together in the Fall of 2011, a day much like any other day, but a day that threw this somewhat unexpected trio together for the first time.  With an uneven number of players the Dream Team was formed as a uniting of 3 wills with one purpose that day.

They should have known that things would turn out different that game, by just the way it started – with a game plan.  Although no one can quite remember whose idea it was, the decision was made to score all of their points via the 2 point shot.  And what a game it was – whether through the alignment of planets, or deals made with spirits of the undead – the ball fell through the hoop, again and again.  Like a band of Hobbits guarding “the precious” they took control of the game and never looked back.

Since that legendary occasion, the “gathering of the three” has been somewhat sparse and there are probably just as many fictional stories of their sighting as there are real ones.  On basketball courts up and down the West Coast, little kids, inspired by the movie “Candyman”, find themselves whispering “Dream Team, Dream Team, Dream Team” and searching the horizon in hope that this will be the day for them to play

Technology Debuts as Gary’s Team Powers to Victory

EL CAJON — It has not really been Lunchsketball lately, so much as Brunchsketball, Elevenses-sketball, or even an occasional game of Late-2nd-Breakfastsketball. The oppressive heat has forced the game to morning tip-offs, in pursuit of the cool early air. On this particular Monday morning, around 11 o’clock, Gary, Phil, Tim, Chris and Adam forged their way to an impressive victory; however, both their win and the scorching sun may have been overshadowed by a new addition to the game.

The winning team could fairly be summed up as “the team with all the size”.  Within Lunchsketball nomenclature, “the team with all the size” is the team with players who, compared to their opponents, are taller in aggregate. Contrast this to “the team with all speed”, which is the other general category of Lunchsketball teams, and is characterized by not having Gary on it.

“We just got beat to death on rebounds,” recounts Kerry. “Between Phil, Adam and Tim out there, me and Matt were just getting beat to death.”

Gary’s team was also helped by a spectacular performance by Tim. Tim doesn’t even have a Lunchsketball player profile yet, and he already has a nickname. “Benjamin Button” has come into popular use, because Tim’s mobility has improved noticeably with the passage of time, giving rise to speculation of a reverse aging process.

“I’m definitely having more fun,” says Tim. “I don’t [play poorly] as much.”

As mentioned above, all of these details are just a backdrop to a larger story – an exciting turn of events that promises to revolutionize the Luncksketball experience. Video footage of the games has been recorded and collected and is now available for viewing. There had been discussion of this possibility for many weeks, and on Monday, Adam strapped a camera onto his head and stepped onto the court. He was an instant sensation.

The results, it must be said, do not disappoint. The first clip of video footage to be uploaded to youtube is shown below. Enjoy as the game comes to your screen in stunning HD:

“They were talking about the camera the whole time,” said Adam of the other players, who were clearly distracted by the video presence in the game. This addition to Lunchsketball not only brings entertainment value, but is also being considered for other uses, such as the collection of statistics, or the development of a “booth review” system for officiating.

Game Highlight: Thursday, 9/6

Darin dug deep and dispelled defeat during a dramatic demonstration of determination and doughtiness. Defying a  discouraging deficit of  9 -1, Darin didn’t duck daunting demands, decisively disproving detractors by dominating defensively. Dunces dismissing Darin’s defense as “dirty” deserve defenestration; D-lo’s dedication to decency is downright dogged. Don’t doubt: Darin does defense as Durant does dunks.