Week in Review: 2013 Week 20

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JorgeThis week, Lunchsketball presents a list of Lunchsketball players with the animal that best represents each of them:

George, aka Jorge: Velociraptor. Smart. Fast. Deadly. Runs around with arms in position to daintily hold two invisible purses.

Adam, aka Sid: Sloth. Adam has long born a resemblance to Sid the Sloth from Ice Age.

Gary: Snail. This was a difficult one, but there is a snail in SpongeBob Squarepants, and his name is Gary, and Gary the basketball player moves rather slowly and stays close to the ground.

Scooter: Honey Badger. You think Scooter cares? He really doesn’t give a darn. He has no regard for any other basketball player, whatsoever. Pretty much does what he wants.

Kerry: Hookworm. That’s an animal which happens to have “hook” in the name. Plus Kerry is pretty good at getting rebounds, like Dennis Rodman, aka, “The Worm”.

Jacob: Hyena. Laughing Hyena. Jacob laughs hysterically during game-play.

Phil: Giraffe. Because he is tall, and also because giraffes are excellent shooters. Ok, just because he is tall.

That last one was a reach, but there must be more. Darin, Jimbo and Erik all have yet to be compared to animals. Please make additions to this list in the comments.

Full-Court Press:

Traffic to this blog continues to come mostly from women searching for pickup lines for basketball players… Lunchsketball trails only Yahoo! Answers and GotLines.com in the google results for basketball pickup lines… Repeating the phrase “pickup lines for basketball players” here in this article can’t be expected to change the situation…

Player of the Week:

Congratulations Alex! Alex is a friend of Jourge’s, and he has played maybe twice. Alex wins Player of the Week for his heroics on Friday. After carrying his team to a half-time lead, Alex took an excruciatingly painful nut-shot. He never left the court, but courageously limped back and forth between the 3-point lines for the rest of the game, in too much pain to look up, much less catch a pass. His team, affected by this show of perseverance, pulled together and finished with a win. As Ray Zalinsky once said, send over a bottle of bubbly in a bucket of ice…

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2 thoughts on “Week in Review: 2013 Week 20

  1. Anonymous says:

    Oh great…like I need another nickname…oh well…at least it’s not “snail”…

  2. Anonymous says:

    I have a couple of names……..
    Darrin would be like a “Muircat”….see Lion King for reference….long neck and can move about quickly and cunningly…….
    Eric….the “Orangutan”…..has long arms and can hang from anything…jumps like a large ape grabbing the ball out of the air….and very strong like the primate from “every which way but loose”
    Jimbo…..the Bighorn sheep/Ram……for his propensity to charge into the lane with no regard for others in his way and sometimes gets in his own way as well……….
    George……..the Jellyfish……Portuguese man of war…..can sting with the best of them…delivering poison with his appendages……moves quickly in the water and is like a mass of water himself….so much moisture for this creature like nothing else in the world……
    Jr. …the Rhino….going in towards the basket with a fury and knocking people out of the way as he moves….
    Tim Staples….the African Elephant…biggest animal on the court and everyone tries to get out of his way as he moves up and down the court……
    Phil…..the great stork…..the one that delivers babies………
    Kracker is like the Ostrich…..he runs from danger and is tall and when danger follows him he dumps off the ball….like an ostrich burying his head in the sand!!!!!!
    Adam is like a Tasmanian devil…..not the one we read about but the one on Looneytoons cartoons…….moving uncontrollably around the court……like a whiliing dervish
    Versace….the toucan…..has a long beak (nose) and you cant get him to shut up on the court!
    that is all I have for now…to be continued….peace/out

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