Bank Fraud By the Accountant: Jorge Goes Glass to Steal Game

Jim and Kerry (aka “Jim Kerry”), plus George hammered out what should be considered the most grotesque victory of 2013 on Wednesday.  The three team was an out-numbered, out-sized, underdog against Adam, Tim (aka “T-Ry”), Richie, and Phil. With mis-matched teams playing on a humid day in the low-lying, stuffy heat-trap that is El Cajon, CA, this game was on track to be darn un-pretty.

An ugly game was delivered, and Jorge led the ugly-charge. The aspiring CPA “netted” some “gross profits” by rattling in a trio of three-point, unintentional bank-shots that were very gross indeed. Kerry (aka “Animal Kracker”) followed George’s lead and made a three-point dent of his own in the backboard. Shortly after half-time, the three amigos had surged to an unlikely 42-28 lead.

Phil, Adam, and company could, and perhaps should, have waved the white flag at this point. Before a check-ball, George suggested calling the game and playing a “new game to 10”. These terms of surrender were rejected, and did nothing but fuel the resolve of the trailing team, who chose to stay and fight to the bitter end.

The well ran dry for George and his bank-shots, and momentum took a clear shift. Adam and Richie dialed their defense to “11”, and for the rest of the game, their team did the majority of the scoring. In fact, a clutch three-pointer from the Rylander brought the game to a tense 48-48 tie.

This is when things went from gross, to disturbing.  A Jimbo baseline jumper rolled off the rim, and George rose above Richie and Adam to pull in the offensive rebound under the basket. Surrounded by defenders, knowing that a shot would take the game, George braced for contact, squatting for the leverage to break the inevitable foul to come, and smothering the ball with his is slimy arms and sweat-saturated jersey. The Swamp Thing was going up for the basket come hell or high water; it would take more than a mere slap on the arm to keep George down and the game alive. Adam, now a wily veteran, had already conceded the loss, merely shrugging and slipping out of the fray. He wanted nothing to do with George’s infamous perspiration on this very-most-swampy of swampy August days.

Young, inexperienced, and naive, Richie, aka Jr. tried to be the hero. With commitment and determination to match George, Richie delivered a desperate, cling-for-dear-life, bear-hug of a foul. It was enough to keep George and the ball on the ground; but at what cost?  Jr. immediately realized that though he may have kept the game going, he had, in the grand scheme of things, already suffered a horrible defeat.

Deflated, traumatized, and 25% soaked, the four team was finished. The ensuing series of possessions to arrive at a complete game was a mere formality. Jim swished in a jumper from the elbow to put an end the suffering, and allow the healing to begin.

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One thought on “Bank Fraud By the Accountant: Jorge Goes Glass to Steal Game

  1. Anonymous says:

    Perhaps the best game analysis ever!

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