New Player Profile: Gary’s Kids

OffspringABOUT GARY’S KIDS: Any time that Lunchsketball finds itself a player or two short, Gary hits the phones like an NBA GM at the trading deadline. He flips through a rolodex full of sons, grandsons, nephews, and in-laws who he can call up to the big leagues on a couple hours’ notice.

Gary Jr., Chris, Richie, Micheal, and David collectively serve the role of the proverbial “kid” at Lunchsketball. They fall in an age range between middle school and 25 and they share a habit of running around really fast the whole game. The fact that they look to varying degrees kind of like each other lends them a sort of interchangeability that is perfect for the role of Lunchsketball sub.

Chris has the most experience of the bunch. Chris is Gary’s son and goes by the mysterious nick-name “Fargell” [ far – jell ]. “Fargell” is a Gary family inside joke that none of them are comfortable explaining to the public.   All kinds of sailor talk has been known to fly at Lunchsketball, so what could it possibly be that would make anybody blush? The ambiguity surrounding the “Fargell” moniker only feeds the curiosity. One is left to speculate that the origins of “Fargell” are amazingly shameful and offensive.

Chris (aka “Fargell”) is a streaky shooter from the outside. When he shoots threes, he always steps on the line for some reason and so they become really long twos. Other than that, his only real weakness is that sometimes at 10:45 in the morning he is still too hung over to answer the phone when his dad calls, and so he misses the game. He must be near to graduating from the Lunchsketball kids program, and so his final appearances are to be cherished. He is sort of the Allan Iverson of Lunchsketball. Heart, hustle and defiance he wears all on his sleeve – his therapeutic compression sleeve.

Gary Jr. is Chris’ older brother. Gary has a lot of nicknames mostly tied to his being the second Gary; hence Gary the Lesser, Lower Case g, Gary 2.0, Gary XP, Gary Vista, Little Gary, etc. Gary Jr. plays the game with a style very similar to his father’s. Just like his old man, he usually scores on mid-range shots from the baseline. It is like watching Big G on fast-forward, except without all the shoving. Unfortunately, he comes to Lunchsketball less and less in days of late.

Micheal is the Micheal Jordan of Gary’s Kids. He’s not actually Gary’s kid; he is related, but must have received a stronger cocktail of basketball DNA than the rest. He never seems to need to work very hard to play well and he always just looks like he knows what he is doing. It is very annoying. Fortunately, he only shows up when the San Diego Unified School District is not in session, because he is only 10 or something. He is the most “the kid” of all the “the kids”. He can make an open three and he has a Tony Parker/JJ Barea sort of running floater that is unstoppable.

Richie is another steady contributor. Richie sometimes plays with his iPod on (a *very* “the kid” sort of move to pull). His style of play is like a compromise between Chris and Micheal, although he is probably the largest of “Gary’s Kids” and can play more in the paint, especially on defense.

Last but not least there is David who, like Micheal, only shows up when school is out. David seems perhaps the youngest of the group. He already has a  penchant for building a house of bricks all game long before proceeding to end it with a deep, nothing-but-net, three, and so his future looks bright.

Lunchsketball salutes Gary’s Kids. Were it not for you, many a lunch would be spent without basketball.

Back in Action

Game of the Week:

EL CAJON, CA — In recent weeks, the weather seemed to believe that it was Miami, but in these last few days it has returned to normal (aka “perfect”). The Lunchsketball players are slowly waking up and coming to the court, like bears emerging from a long hibernation in air-conditioned bear-caves.

On Wednesday, Adam, Phil, Gary, Tim and Jim were on a team against Matt, George, Darin and, **Dream Team Alert**, Kerry. On one side, you had the most successful and legendary franchise in lunch basketball history, while the guys on the other side were calling themselves “Adam and the Geezers,” or “Adam and the Bicentennial Club” (for combined ages well in excess of 200 years).

An upset was in store. Maybe they were benefiting from three weeks of rest, or maybe Tim was living up to his “Benjamin Button” name and is approaching his Jordan years, but whatever it was, they pounded the Dream Team. It also didn’t hurt that Adam brought out a classic “Whirling Dervish” performance. If the senior citizens had to pick up one mercenary, they made the right choice. This may have been Adam’s best game yet, as he patrolled both ends of the court with Teen Wolf tenacity, devouring rebounds, scoring on triple teams, and finding the holes to lead to what seemed like 15 layups.

Equation of the Week:

Phil in the office + No basketball at lunch = Phil drives out and gets Mexican food for lunch.

Full-Court Press:

Time to say goodbye to some notable Lunchsketball equipment: The “Orange Crush” era is over, as the bright “Cal-Trans” orange shoes that George introduced in February played their final game on Thursday… Gary’s black Nike basketball developed a tumor and has been retired after a remarkably long run as the preferred ball for the game… Gary brought a new ball and it is really bouncy; currently debating whether the new ball is extra bouncy or whether it is normal and everybody was just used to the Nike ball, which had been worn to Nerf-like conditions… Phil’s shoulder is sore and he doesn’t think he can make three’s right now, but don’t tell anyone…

Player of the Week

The award goes to Darin! When the doctor told Darin he couldn’t play for six weeks unless he bought a facemask, he went out and bought a facemask!  That kind of perseverance and determination deserves recognition. If you see Darin today, be sure to say “Congratulations!”

This Week In Lunchsketball

Let’s Go Have Breakfast

El Cajon, CA — There was only one game played this week, and that game came about at a high price: sleep. Friday morning, seven stalwart souls, famished for basketball after a two-week drought, beat the heat and their cabin fever by dragging themselves out of bed on time for a 7:05am tip. Kerry, Jim and George matched against Gary, Adam, T-Ry and Erik in the first-ever game of Breakfasketball, or as it is better known, “Brunchsketball”.

There were originally nine scheduled to play, but not everybody made it. Matt texted at 6:40 to announce that he had overslept. Diana (aka “The Urbin Legend) was absent without leave.  That  left only seven players. When Tim (aka “Benjamin Button”) almost immediately hurt his ankle, it looked like Brunchsketball might become a game of 3 on 3. He was able to reach to the wells and grit through the injury though. When seven men of advanced years come directly from bed to an asphalt court to play basketball for the first time in 2 weeks, there are bound to be some injuries, and so just one turned ankle is not so bad.

Photo of the Week

Photograph (2)

Full-Court Press:

Check out the new video on the “About This Blog” page… Sources say that Darin (aka “Darryl”) has acquired a nose mask (aka Schnoz-arroo); Lunchsketball eagerly awaits the debut… Special thanks to for mentioning Lunchsketball in their “Noon Game” article; they are doing great work over there, analyzing pickup basketball in depth never before seen… Shout out to Kerry (aka “Kerr-Bear”) for hitting the game winning shot in the first ever game of Brunchsketball…

Quote of the Week:

“The ball lies its a** off all the time!”

– G$