Domestic Disturbing

EL CAJON, CA — It has never been an athletic apparel fashion show out here, by any standard. In fact, a new shirt or pair of shorts will usually get mentioned and discussed the first time it makes an appearance, just because variety is so rare. A man generally doesn’t buy a lot of clothing, and purchases even less for exercising in. Erik has been wearing only a handful of favorite shirts for years; he’s got the Blue Bear one, and the General Motors shirt with a Hummer and Corvette on it. Everybody knows that. Phil almost exclusively wears a blue T-shirt with a white jumpman on it. Some don’t even own shorts, and will use Gary’s cast-offs, this pair of blue shorts in the warehouse that have been worn by at least 3 different guys.

With the bar having been set so very low for style, you wouldn’t think there’d be such thing as a faux pax (with of course the exception of Franklin’s “Faux Paw” shirt) in Lunchsketball. They actually do happen, but it takes something outstandingly bad. The most notable one from the past was Kerry’s pair of shorts. He had one pair of shorts, that seem to have been acquired sometime before 1992, when men’s shorts were shorts. It was basically the only pair of shorts that he owned, for quite some time. There were some holes. And then there were more holes. And more. Finally, a company policy was instated at Kerry’s office, dictating that the men were not to be seen in the office in their gym clothes. A lot of mystery enshrouds  the appearance of that policy, but Kerry’s Swiss-cheese Stockton shorts are probably what got that process rolling (the Swamp Thing phenomenon has also been implicated).

Kerry got newer shorts, and that’s been that, until recently, when Gary (aka G-Money) decided that it would be acceptable to show up wearing a wife-beater. Is he just too warm? Has he been watching Die Hard? Is he joining LeBron and others in protest of sleeves? He is a shooting specialist after all. Maybe the sleeves where interfering with his percentage.

Whatever his reasons, G is sticking with the new look. It’s a bold statement now, but baggy shorts were too, once upon a time. Maybe in a couple years, we’ll all be wearing wife beaters. Probably not in the office though.

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