Lunchsketball Animals

EL CAJON, CA — There was only one game of Lunchsketball this week. Technically, there were three games, but they were all played on the same day. Jorge, Gary, Gary Jr., and Erik were victors against Phil, Darin, Kerry and Jimbo. Gary Jr. did nothing but win as he continued his ruthless march to the MVP title, completing the very rare, 3-game-in-1-lunch sweep. The first game ended 50-25, and was followed by consolation games to 11 and 7, both of which were won by the team with all the Garie on it.

Gary Sr. stood out in the game by relentlessly calling Darin a weasel. As if “Trip”,  aka “Darryl”, aka “Heavy-D” needed any more nicknames, Gary was really pushing for this one to catch on, yelling things like “He’s a weasel!” and “That’s what weasels do!” during every play that involved Darin. This led to a post-game debate about whether a weasel is a rodent (it is not), and the conclusion that weasels are actually formidable predators, akin to the wolverine or the honey badger. Weasels, as it turns out, literally eat rodents for lunch.

So this means that the old “what player is which animal” article requires an update. In case you don’t remember, this was the article in which George was compared to a velociraptor (because he runs around with small arms holding invisible handbags) and Gary was likened to a snail (a declaration subsequently amended via protest, to specify that Gary was a “mutant, nitro-burning, turbo snail”). Obviously, Darin is now on the list as a weasel. This is also a good opportunity to add one that was missed, which is that Erik is an octopus, because he uses his eight sticky arms to steal basketballs.

There’s been activity on the injury report this week. First of all, Nathan, (aka “Nathan the Tall”) has been cleared by organization trainers to return to action, having recovered from knee surgery. He missed his scheduled return start last week, only because one of his co-workers, at a pharmacy of all places, called off sick. In other tall-people-with-injuries news, Phil has not been in the best health of his career. In an off the court incident, he fell off of a bicycle, and while grateful to have escaped with scrapes and bruises, he does have quite a few of those scrapes and bruises. The guy really took it on the chin. So that’s why he has a big scrape on his chin.

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