Matt

ABOUT MATT: Matt is one of the “regulars” and usually appears in one or two games each week, except when he has dislocated his shoulder. He is one of the taller players in the game, and the other team will usually complain that Matt’s team has a height advantage, aka, “all the size”.  In addition to being tall, he is fast. He’s got as much hustle and speed as any other player in Lunchsketball.

Having said all this about Matt’s height and speed, he is surprisingly block-able, even by much shorter players and Kerry. Matt has an accurate shot, but it takes a while to deploy. It is a process, and sometimes there is a point in his delivery where the basketball is lowered to about knee level before beginning its assent toward the hoop. This is the most fun to watch when he’s shooting a layup; he approaches the basket with long, deliberate strides accompanied by a pendulum motion with the ball, sort of like he’s on a bowling lane.

Throughout each game, Matt gets lots of constructive input from his teammates, who consider Matt’s time on the basketball court a golden opportunity for him to learn from the very best. Even though he has never directly asked for this kind of help, the youngster is offered a constant stream of free advice on all parts of the game; where to cut, what he should have done on the last play, even what kind of  attitude to keep on an upcoming play. When he is dribbling the ball, expect to hear lots of helpful suggestions offered loudly to Matt, in case he doesn’t have any of his own ideas about what to do next.

PLAYER STATISTICS: Name: Matt, aka “Matty Ice”, aka “Bieber”, aka “the Biebs”, aka “Tidy”
Avg. Dislocated Shoulder per Game: 0.0435
Favorite Law & Order Spin-off: SVU
Drives or Walks to the Court: Drives

Matt has been an outspoken critic of the Lunchsketball blog. He has accused the blog of turning the game  for the worse, by leading the players to become self-conscious under the national spotlight. While this post is by no means a reaction to Matt’s far-fetched and unfortunate comments, the addition of his own player profile is expected to address the real heart of the protest.

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